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Cayreth
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re: I think we all know who's in the sack

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Well, if I read it right, it delivers some pork!

Also.... STRANGER DANGER!

 

Omnilock
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This thread delivers.

 

Not sure what it delivers, but I want seconds.

Fagerboozle
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But clearly, ... I was mistaken.  Oh well.  Rather than bump their thread (unless I just HAVE to), here's the followup:

 

A figure, clad in a gnomish hazmat suit entered the first of two doors.  The second door would only open once the first had formed an air-tight seal.  The Cathedral physician came into the small, tiled room and shook his goggled and respirator-clad head, looking over the test results.  He eyed the red-haired dwarf seated on the stainless steel exam table.

"Um... what exactly did you say your profession was again, Mr. Jones?" he asked.

The dwarf fiddled with the front of his paper hospital gown.  "I'm a personal chef," he replied with an odd inflection.

"A... personal chef," repeated the doctor.

"Yeh, I go inta folks homes an' I 'cook' for em."  The dwarf leaned forward with a conspiratorial wink. "'Specialize in meat.  Pork, more specifically.  M'clients really like that.  Though a few seem partial to me salads."

Beneath the protective clothing, the doctor paled.  "I...see."  The doctor wavered in uncomfortable silence for several seconds.  "I... um.  I have your test results back, and you have quite an... impressive collection of ailments.  And, you uh, say you got all these from one client?"

The dwarf made a rude noise.  "Feh! Blinkin' Blood elves. Yeh cook fer one of'm, yer cookin' fer all of'm I say."  Mr. Jones made an impatient gesture, demanding to see the list.  He read down the list, slowly, out loud, pausing to comment occasionally.  "Oh, no, I already had that one. An that.  Oh, an I mighta had that one too -- coulda swore it was in remission, though." He got down to the bottom of the list of fifteen or so items before exclaiming, "Oi!  Clammy Crotch Rot?!  Really?  I thought that hair-gel bandit smelled a bit fishy."

For a moment, the doctor forgot his squeamishness in a moment of scientific curiosity.  "Oh, indeed. We usually only see that one in goblins.  How this individual ended up with it, is..."  The doctor's voice trailed off as he eyed the squat, hairy humanoid.  "Nevermind.  I'm really not so surprised now that I think about it."  The doctor gestured back to the list.  "What does perplex me is how you managed to get all this from just... cooking one meal."

The dwarf looked pensive.  Or perhaps constipated.  It was hard to tell.  "Nah, it could happ'n.  This client looked like he 'ate out' a lot, if yeh get me, an' not any place I'd be flashin' MY egg-beater, truth be told."  The dwarf winced a little.  "An that's sayin' a lot."

"So, uh... why did you?" blurted the doctor before he could stop himself. Professional curiosity only went so far.

"Ahh, lad -- gold n' beer."  The dwarf clucked dramatically.  "It's been... the ruin... of many a poor boy, an gods I know, I'm one...."

The doctor seemed to be listening to something far away.  "Hey-y-y, isn't that supposed to be the House...." The doctor eyed the dwarf again.  "Nevermind.  So you... exposed your egg...beater... to this Blood Elf."

"What? No! I used me pepper mill on 'im."

"Your 'pepper mill'?"

The dwarf went round-eyed for a moment.  "Oh, aye.  Big un."  He made a cutting motion at his elbow to indicate length.  "Yee-ep!  Crazy lil' git tol' me ta keep crackin' til he cried.  So I did!"

The doctor held up an index finger.  "Ah, you know what Mr. Jones, now that I think about it, we should just discuss treatments and quarentine."

"Quarentine?"

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Jones.  We can treat the other ailments fairly quickly, but the Gurubashi Bush Lobsters are going to require something a little more lengthy and aggressive."

"Aggressive?  Like how aggressive?" replied the dwarf.

The doctor had made it through the first door of the airlock before replying over the speaker.  "Let's just say, Mr. Jones, that I hope you don't have extensive hair on your pepper mill...."

Fagerboozle
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re: I think we all know who's in the sack

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Something tells me they MAY have remembered the oh-so-important bit.

Kytai
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Yes, but they ignored it so spectacularly. Should be funny.

I still think my favorite part was how removing everyone (even people completely unrelated to the drama) from realid was just cleaning house.

Fagerboozle
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Yeah, well... I feel like they missed half of Starien's "just ride it out" advice, which was  the part about "laying low until things blow over.'

"OKAY! I know we just blew up our last guild and had a big stink on the forums, but we've said we're really, really sorry and would like the chance to do it all over again.  Cool?  Cooll!"

Cayreth
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Yea, unfortunately, it's too easy to do.

 

Fagerboozle
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Trying to.  I uh, think i mades thems mad tho... Undecided

Cayreth
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http://us.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/7004454864?page=1#7

What do you say, Oolaki? Want to play along?

 

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